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I saw one of those things on Facebook yesterday. You know, the inspiring quote put over a lovely picture that can never be attributed to just one originator. But this one caught my attention because 2016 was particularly rough to me in the second half. The biggest and worst thing to happen to me in 2016 was that my health got worse to the point where I lost my job in November.
Holiday hectic time is over. This year I had my kids who live with my Ex during the school year visiting me, so if I’ve been quiet between that and the post-Nanowrimo de-stressing, I’m sure you can all understand. 🙂
But without any further ado, I’d like to say just one thing: I have a very good feeling about 2015 and what it’s going to mean for my writing.
For a while there, I gave every year a theme. “This is the Year of ____.” I’ve had the year of awesome, the year of doing things, the year of self-discipline. 2014 passed without being labeled, for whatever reason, but I’m feeling like 2015 needs something.
2015 is the Year of Dreams.
This is the year where I finally get a story accepted to Sword and Sorceress (third time’s the charm, right?). This is the year where I self-publish AND see decent sales. This is the year that I manage to gain an agent and/or a publisher. This is the year where I might actually get somewhere with Writers of the Future. This is the year I apply for a dream job, not because I think I’ll be able to get it, but just to say that I’m chasing my dream. This is the year I go back to school to finish my degree–and it will finally be in creative writing instead of something “more practical”.
Above all, this is the year where I stop letting naysayers hold me back, including the biggest naysayer of them all: myself. This is the year I let go of fear and just go for it. Every opportunity, every chance will be taken. This is the year I stop talking about following my dreams and actually do it instead.
Bear with me. I think it’s going to be the craziest and most amazing year yet.
Two months to the day since I announced a hiatus, it seems.
I’ve had a lot of time to think. A lot of time to figure out what I want for my creative life. I’ve decided I’m really stinking tired of letting everything else get in the way, especially myself. I feel like I’m rebuilding myself slowly, one small piece at a time, from the bottom up. I had to be broken down completely, I think, for things to be put back the way they need to go.
It’s going to take a long time. I’m holding no illusions about that. But it’s going to be worth it.
Expect to see the changes and updates I was planning on making before the hiatus soon. I’ve got three LTUE summary posts hiding in my drafts folder waiting to be completed, and I have other ideas coming. I’m also doing The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, so I expect that I’ll be sharing some of the experiences from that with you as well.
Anyway. Rambled on long enough. I’m back, and I’m glad to be back. I’ve missed you all. ❤
The beginning of December always brings what some people call a Nanowrimo hangover. It’s the feeling of “now what” that comes with having completed 50k words in 30 days. At this point, the insanity is over.
So I’ve finished NaNoWriMo. I’m pleased with the way that it turned out, and although I did get my 50K words, I’m still working on the story. It’s turning out so very nicely. I can’t wait for some of the twists that have been trying to show themselves. I’ve just been through a difficult breakup. I feel like I can talk about it now that it’s over and resolved “successfully”. But that was what was so very emotionally draining for the entire second half of November. And in some ways, it was also very motivating for my writing because pushing so hard for word count kept things from being worse than they were. I survived Thanksgiving with a minimum of family drama (my family does not share my political or religious views that I don’t discuss here so there is always drama).
So now it’s time to answer the “now what?”
Now I finish the rest of the story. It’ll probably end up being an 80k-word novel, when all is said and done.
Now I work on a query letter because I really need to get published soon.
Now I learn how to be lonely, and I imagine that all that time and effort I was putting into a struggling relationship might find new expression in writing and reading.
Now I start looking for new ideas, new projects that I can work on when I’m done with this one.
Now, I move forward.
Disclaimer: This is not the announcement of the start of a project. This is determining if there is enough interest to make running a project campaign worth it.
Lately I’ve been thinking about using Kickstarter to help fund the self-publishing of one or more of my fantasy/supernatural books. (There are other crowdfunding options out there, yes, but I’m leaning toward Kickstarter because of its emphasis on creative works.)
Okay, so I got way too busy and stressed with this needing-to-job-hunt thing to reach my goal for Camp Nanowrimo’s July session.
BUT.
November is coming. And more than that:
Sometimes it disturbs me how accurate my horoscope can be for something that I only even look at to get a laugh… I do believe that this goes hand in hand with the way that I was whining about spoon theory and feeling out of control and powerless yesterday.
If you feel that your life lacks some discipline right now, then that’s a sure sign that it does! It’s not such a big deal to have a messy car or bedroom, but the clutter around you is getting a little bit out of hand in other areas of your life — and it’s starting to bother you too much. So today, spend some time putting order back into your world. Cleaning is a mindless task, but by being that way it gives you a chance to let your mind wander and clear itself out, too.
Going to a Brandon Sanderson book signing today. After that? Time to sit down and make an assessment of what might be cluttering things up and stealing spoons from me when I’m not looking. Yes, my room could probably use a good straightening, and bathrooms always need cleaning. But the mental housecleaning might be far more important today.
(And while I’m cleaning out the brain, maybe I’ll be able to get Weird Al’s voice out of there, too…)
It was a wonderful, fabulous weekend. I think the only low was when I lost my jacket and couldn’t find it, but everyone was so helpful and I was able to find it again. (Even if it did take seven hours. I still was able to find it thanks to awesome people, and everything was still in the pockets.)
I can’t even begin to process ALL of it just yet. I want to do this write-up properly, so I’ll probably write more extensively on the experience tomorrow after I have had time to digest. It was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. It’s the best decision of 2013 so far, and the best decision I’ve ever made as I work on moving my writing from deeply-involved hobby to career.
I got lots of neat stuff, and not all of it was flyers and bookmarks and nifty things from all the vendors. The information I received was far more valuable than any physical thing. I never knew both how ready I am to jump into the publishing world, and how much I didn’t–and still don’t–know.
There was a question on one panel where the moderator asked, “when did you feel like you could call yourself a real writer?” One of the answers really struck me, because I think it hit on what I’ve been missing up until very recently. When you are ready to commit to writing as a life, then you are a “real” writer.
I’m ready to commit. Like the badge ribbon I got from Howard Tayler’s vendor table says, “I am out of excuses.”
No more excuses. No more whining. No more letting fibromyalgia or depression keep me down. This is the Year of Doing for me, and I am getting out there and doing. (And getting in here and doing, and getting into Word and doing, you get the idea….)
All-in-all it was a very positive and encouraging experience, in spite of that little voice that keeps saying “too much competition; look at the people that are here and multiply that by a million or more”. For the first time in my life I feel not only capable of competing, but READY to compete too. So bring on the rejection letters and the eventual successes. This is my year.
I asked him last night, “do you think my blog is boring?”
Now, this is certainly a loaded question, but he handled it with his usual ability to be both diplomatic and direct (and yes, sometimes tactless) all at once. He answered with something along the lines of “It would be more interesting if you actually wrote about something. Right now your posts sound like extended Facebook statuses, like you’re updating for the sake of updating.”
Right, then. I knew there was something lacking, or I wouldn’t have asked in the first place. Sometimes it’s dangerous for writers to be in love with other writers. And other times, it makes the criticism you need to hear a lot easier to take. The above answer came from the dear, wonderful man whom I love… And he tends to be right.
Incidentally, he gave me something to write about and I’m not sure he knew that he was doing it. This morning, I logged into Facebook and saw this on his Timeline:
Author Jenna Bowman 